Will this person get me to Heaven?

This post is similar to a post from a couple weeks ago, but goes even deeper into my thoughts, and a recent experience that opened my eyes.
A few Sunday's ago I went to mass with a former teammate and afterwards they had vocational speakers.  I'm not sure why they had chosen this particular day for vocations, since it is not the week of vocations, but it was exactly what I needed.  As a college student, super far away from home, I sometimes lose sight of who I am and what is important to me.
One of the speakers, who carried the vocation of the single life, really caught my attention.  She spoke of considering the life of a nun, but when she tried it out, it did not speak to her.  She talked about how she knew God had a plan for her and that marriage would come one day, but her main focus should be helping people and focusing on her own life and her life with God.  It was amazing to listen to someone talk about her life expectations and what she wanted.  One of the students asked another vocational speaker, "how do you know who the person you will marry is?"  and the single woman had an answer, it was to think "will this person get me into heaven?"
This answer spoke to me on so many levels, religiously and not religiously.
The people that surround your life should be ones who make you feel happy to be who you are and make you a better person in everything you do.  It is not fair to yourself or the people around you if you are surround my negative influences and people who cannot keep you in check.  Everyday I think about what these vocational speakers said and I just remind myself that I have some of the most amazing people who surround me and I would not change it for the world.

E

Horrible Updater

So I have realized that I am just the worst blogger EVER.  I need to start working on updating more.  Luckily, school is almost over and I will be moving back home to try and figure my life out.  I was never one to think I would go back home after college, but I realized that I don’t ever save money and happen to be way too broke to live alone in an apartment somewhere.  I think it will be great living at home and helping my dad fix the house up as well as being around some old friends that I have lost touch with.  I can’t wait to get out of school!  I will update again later when I don't have so much work to do!

E

Give My Heart A Smile

I was eating dinner today when Feels So Right, by Alabama came on my Pandora station and it reminded me how perfect this spring break was.  "Just hold me close and love me, tell me it won't end" Cody and I spent all of the break together and I just didn't want it to end.  

He came to get me on Friday the 14th and we went into New York City together to meet up with my family.  This was wonderful because I don't see my family very often since most of them live in the midwest.  We went to the Creighton basketball game that night for the Big East Tournament which was great! 

Then Cody and I spent all Saturday walking around downtown Manhattan, seeing ground zero, and sitting on a bench by the Hudson.  It was so relaxing. 

 Sunday we found a little diner on one of the side streets near our hotel and that's when he asked me to come to Montana with him for the week, I couldn't say no.  So we flew back to his parents house Monday and spent the week relaxing with each other and enjoying the snow.  I couldn't have asked for a better week or a better person to spend it with.  He's been so wonderful these past few months, dealing with my mood swings and uncertainty about what to do with the next few years of life.

He's one of those people that can always remind you that there is always something to be happy about.  I love him to pieces and I hate when the moments we have together have to end.  Luckily he is off restriction and can come to see me on weekends and the warm weather is on its way, which means we can get outside and hike the "mountains".

Who Are You When I'm Not Looking?

It's been a long week of uncertainty for me. I only have 60 days left until the day I graduate and that means only a few more weeks of my track career. I thought I could handle staying in it, but I made an irrational decision in the spur of the moment and quit the team. However, it's been 10 days since I made the decision and I am already happier with my life. The coach and I just did not see eye to eye and after having a major surgery, it is EXTREMELY hard to get back into everything, and he failed to understand that. I think it is good for me to focus on what is ahead of me in my life and be the person I want to be. Less negative.

I find myself being so negative, way too often. 

"Who are you when I'm not around?
When the door is locked and the shades are down?
Do you listen to your music quietly?
And when it feels just right, are you thinkin' of me?"

A perfectly put song by Blake Shelton...I know it is all about a mans love and wanting to know a woman and all her flaws. But it also makes me think about who am I? What do I do when I am alone? Do I like who I am?


I feel like there is so much more I could do with my life, but I can never put down the past, or the negativity. I want to start now, positive life, happy thoughts forever.

life is what you make it

Something that has been really bothering me lately, is the way people feel like they need to be so concerned with other people.  Lately I have had so much unneeded drama in my life from people who seem to be so caught up in everyone else's business and cause problems that are completely unnecessary.  I'm the type of person who stays out of your business unless it directly effects me or you open up to tell me about it.  Focusing on yourself rather than the negatives about everyone around you makes you feel better, physically and emotionally.

On another note, it's midterms week and I feel like I am SWAMPED with studying, but can't find myself to get it together and just do it.  I only have 74 more days until graduation, which means only about 60 more days of actual classes.  I cannot wait until it is over.  I am 100% ready for a new chapter in my life.

Happy Sunday

see about a girl

"I gotta go, see about a girl."- Lee Brice

I have a thing for country music and so does my man.  If you don't like country, learn to like it, because you can find so much in the music to relate to.  Lee Brice says says it right, he's with his boys, but he has to go see his girl, because he loves her.  Recently Cody and I had a huge fight over him blocking someone's number from contacting me.  I was obviously beyond mad because I felt like a line was crossed and that he couldn't trust me, and a relationship without trust isn't a relationship at all.  Except like this song, he had to come see me, I don't think we would have been able to solve our problem without him coming to me.  He drove in the WORST traffic ever (G.W. bridge is never the answer), but he came to see me, to talk to me, to make everything right.

Having an honest open relationship with someone makes everything worth it.  Know matter how mad we get at each other, we some how figure it out and I love that about us both.  I can be a pain in the ass, as can he, but we always work it out, because that's love. 

and the snow has come back

It was an early morning for me today.  I have a test at 14:30, but haven't had much time to study for this test, more like procrastinated... So I woke up at 700am and it had yet to begin snowing...and as I write this the snow has begun to fall again.  We've had so much snow this year I don't know what to do with myself.  I want to run outside again...it's been a solid 3 months since I've been able to run on a track.
Anyways, the man-candy came for a visit the weekend of Valentines day, and in my previous post I made it clear that I hate Valentines, so we just went to the bar and had a mess of a night.  Luckily we made it back, probably in pieces, but I got what I deserved when I woke up...TERRIBLE HANGOVER.
I ended up babysitting that night and we just watched a movie when I got back.  I'm assuming he was probably pretty bored well I was gone, but he knew I had babysitting.  Sunday he took me to a very delicious Thai place, I wasn't expecting such a great meal on a Sunday night.  It was a nice change of pace.

Valentines day is coming and I received great news!  My guy FINALLY is off restriction.  This means he gets his privileges back, which include taking OPP's and pass to leave post and come see me.  I am so excited for this, and not because Valentines day is right around the corner, but because this means I don't have to spend the 2+ hours driving up to him.
On the note of Valentine's day....I actually hate this holiday.  I should wake up everyday with a smile on my face and be happy to have people in my life that love me.  Saint Valentine is a martyr in the Roman Catholic Church and has nothing to do with people being in love and celebrating love, mostly in a physical relationship.  Valentine's day was created in around the Middle Ages and managed to manifest its way in to mainstream culture generation after generation, which has made me dislike it.  I would rather have everyday be special and exciting, rather than have a commercialized holiday be the day I am lavished with gifts, told I am extremely loved and then have cliche passionate, romantic sex after dinner.  However, I am pretty sure he plans on coming to see me that weekend, but I do not plan on doing anything special.  I actually have a track meet on that Saturday the 15th, that I am hoping to participate in, and maybe he can finally see me in action :)

a promise is a promise

So when me and my boyfriend first started talking we decided we would write letters to each other.  One of the main reasons I wanted to write letters is because they are so personal and you can really just write what ever you feel at that moment.  I also wanted him to be able to have letters when he one day gets deployed, so whenever he needs a pick me up he will be able to look back at letters from all times of our relationships, the good and the bad.  So the promise we made is to always write a letter, I write him one and he responds and then I respond....we've started to write a list of all the dates on our bucket list, some of them include: skydiving, visiting Plattsburgh, and going to a rodeo (which was suppose to happen in January but we were already on our cruise).  I'm originally from a midwest city and he is from a mid-size town in Montana so we both have some country roots.  He can hunt and I can fish, so I think it's a perfect match :)
Anyways not only do we have a list of dates we want, we also include 2-3 questions in our letters for us to respond to and then create our own.  This might be my favorite part because we ask questions as serious as "What are your two biggest fears about me" which he answered he was afraid something bad would happen during my brain operation that I had in August and that I might make a bad choice one day that could break us apart and then we ask other questions like "What's the grimiest thing you've ever done?"  I will leave out the answers to those, because we both have our fair share of college stories, even though his college is MUCH different than mine.  We always manage to remember to date each letter and to include quotes from our favorite country songs, "Dancin in your wooden shoes in a wedding gown", one of the songs we danced to on his balcony one night in the summer.  Probably one of my favorite memories, because it was one of the last nights I would see him for a while, and it was a beautiful clear night and the stars were heavenly, I also cried a few times, but he held me close and played this song.

spend the night together

My boyfriend is amazing.  For Christmas he got us a 7 day cruise on the Royal Caribbean, of course he spent months before asking me if a cruise would be okay, and I kept saying NO!  I know you're thinking what the heck is wrong with you?!?! I just felt that it was too much and I would have been okay with just a pair of socks or a weekend to Kansas City to see my best friend Darcy (check out her blog), but when he explained to me why he wanted to go on a cruise I finally accepted it.  His reasoning was because we don't get to see each other regularly like most couples he thought a week away would help make up for the days we don't get to see each other.  And for that I am grateful.  We spent a beautiful 7 days, we left from the Port of New Orleans, docked at Key West, which of course we found a bar that had the black lager from the one and only theChive.  Then our boat headed its way to Nassau and then CoCo Kay.  It was one of the best vacations I've ever had and I can't wait for the many more to come.
He gets off restriction soon, which means he can finally come visit me, and we can finally spend some date nights in New York City!  I've been waiting for this day since we had our first date, which was in the city.  Speaking of our first date, it was actually the first time we EVER met in person.  That story will come later though :)

Happy Friday

and so it begins

I began my college career wanting to be a psychiatrist and here I am four years later graduating with a degree in Sociology and the dream of working in baseball operations.  I am pretty sure I never would have seen this life coming and to make it even more difficult, I have fallen in love with an Army cadet.
I guess it doesn't make it difficult, just complicated.  Knowing that I will spend my life moving around, waiting by the computer and the mailbox, and never knowing what could happen has really changed my perspective on the world. Even more so it has made me re-evaluate the life choices I made before I met him. 

I'm one of the lucky ones, for now at least.  My boyfriend is only a short 98 mile drive from school, which means I can see him any weekend I have free.  The only down fall this past semester was that he was under restriction, which meant that he couldn't leave post.  So every time I wanted to see him I had to make the drive up there, which 98 miles doesn't seem too bad, except I have to drive through New York City in order to get to him, and for those of you who have never driven in NYC, it is a highway engineers WORST nightmare.  So sometimes it can take 3 hours to get up there and not to mention having to drive back to school 6 hours after I get up to West Point.  It is a journey I have been willing to make and is always worth it in the end.  I think I went up there at least once a month from September until now and was able to spend three weekends at the lovely Thayer Hotel, which if you have the money I would highly recommend spending a night there.

Until Next Time